Session 104

SESSION 104 NOVEMBER 4, 1964 9 PM WEDNESDAY AS SCHEDULED em>(Naturally, after Jane’s experience with psychological time earlier in the day, we wondered whether there would be a session at all tonight. As the day wore on however Jane appeared to feel all right. We made plans to hold the session as usual, provided Seth himself did not eliminate it or Jane had a change of heart. Jane had no idea of what material the session might cover, as far as foreknowledge went.

(Jane and I have talked to our landlord, Jimmy Spaziani, concerning the data given by Seth in the 100th session, concerning the missing cover to the thermostat in our apartment house. Seth stated that Jimmy inadvertently disposed of the cover “either someplace on his own property or in a public dumping area, whichever area is by a hill, and it is still there.” Jimmy states that with Seth’s reminder, he does recall cleaning out some rubbish from the house last spring; the description, according to Jimmy, matches that of Elmira’s city dump, which Jane and I have not visited. Jimmy states that the area is all small hills, and covers many acres. I asked Jimmy if by any chance he could recall where in the dump he disposed of that load of rubbish, but he could not. Jimmy states that attendants there direct him to a different spot each time; the size of the dump precludes any detailed search, so we conclude that the cover will probably never be found.

(Concerning Seth’s statements that Jane will soon make a writing sale, she has nothing to report yet. See pages 102, 107 and 114 in this volume. She continues however to receive very complimentary letters concerning her work.

(Jane began dictation on time in a normal voice, and in a rather slow manner, then gradually speeded up. Again her glasses were off, her eyes dark.)

Good evening.

(“Good evening, Seth.”)

Our Ruburt has already put in quite a day.

If you recall, I told you that the psychological time experiments would prove more fruitful now, but Ruburt really came up with a peach.

(See page 92 in Session 100.)

Again, we are involved with the necessity for a delicate balance between spontaneity and discipline. Considering the circumstances and all in all, Ruburt handled himself very well.

The experience did involve several experiments that he was making without, of course, conscious knowledge. Several lessons may also be learned from this. The inner self is well aware of its innate capabilities in certain directions, and directs its efforts along these lines.

Ego in its own way senses these particular potentialities also; merely senses them as say a dog might sniff danger, and it directs its efforts to block them. A frightened dog takes very careful handling, or you may lose a hand and gain very little.

Ruburt’s strategy was brilliant from one standpoint. The rushing-out feeling through the head represented the initial flow of the inner self from the physical image.

(While delivering the above sentence, Jane took several long pauses as she paced about. She had not been speaking very rapidly, but her rate of delivery now slowed somewhat, broken by frequent pauses.)

It happened so quickly that Ruburt’s old dog of an ego was taken by surprise almost completely, and the whole affair might have been successful, as far as its purpose being achieved, had not a quick preliminary sensation caused the ego to rouse from its pleasant doze.

The sensation occurred mere seconds before the outward rush, but provided just enough of a dim warning to the ego. The ego could not prevent the outward rush. It did not react in time. The warning was not therefore sufficient from the ego’s standpoint. It yelped and pulled the escaping inner self back by its imaginary coattails.

Quietly but firmly, without antagonizing the ego further, Ruburt quieted it down by the suggestion of safety and slow motion; as you suspected the slow motion suggestion and/or coupled with the cautionary warning, was interpreted rather expertly, that is slyly, by the subconscious, which then waited a good interval of several hours before trying again.

(I would say a little less than two hours, actually.)

In the meantime, that is for the remaining half-hour, it experimented with preliminary acclimating and familiarizing sensations, with which the ego, somewhat conditioned and convinced of the benefit of these experiments, could find nothing really objectionable.

As a rule Ruburt’s ego will jealously guard its interests. When he feels it shout at him it is good to lessen the pace during the rest of the session, as he attempted to do. The wording of any suggestions is very important, however. The phrase, “I will progress safely”, is an excellent one to use, since it allows for continuation and progress balanced by safety.

The word slow, or slowly, is not good in this connotation, since of itself it does not necessarily suggest safety, but a mere neutral and temporary putting off. So far Ruburt is doing well, and will learn as he progresses how to operate inner acceleration and flow, or rush of energy, so that he is comfortable. And the ego, through experience, will learn that the inner self will always return safely. And it would be most unjust, and needlessly cruel, not to give the ego this necessary reassurance; and also the inner self should manage to communicate to the ego its gratitude for the ego’s protective concern.

This involves a simple communication both ways. Familiarity with such experiences, again, will quickly teach Ruburt to use the right touch, to learn how to control this acceleration and rush of the self, going either inward or outward; that is, leaving the physical image and returning to it; as with your airplanes, I believe, landing is important, without a crash.

We anticipate no airline disasters, so to speak. Perhaps, inevitably, a few bumpings along the ground. These controls in the long run must be learned individually, directly through experience, but I can be of some aid.

I suggest your break.

(Break at 9:34. Jane was dissociated as usual. She was speaking somewhat faster by the end of her delivery. She said that the above material, dealing with the outward movement of the inner self through the head, reminded her that in her earlier psychological time experiments she had sometimes experienced a “bump on top of the head” sensation, momentarily, that had been rather unpleasant. This would be several months ago.

(When Jane began dictating again her voice had changed from a rather normal voice to one that was quite a bit more formal and harsh in tone, and somewhat louder. At times it had a hard-to-describe singsong quality, emphasizing certain syllables and elongating them. Her diction became very elaborate. She maintained this voice, moreover, until the end of the session. Resume at 9:39.)

There are always new things to be learned as new levels are reached, new controls to be mastered, new balances to be maintained, new disciplines that must be adopted; and initially this does involve a natural, added exertion of energy and increased activity, before the whole self learns to deal with the new level, and is comfortable in its manipulations.

For the present Ruburt’s ego will exert balancing resistance, like an anchor perhaps, or a weight. However the inner self has also tasted new freedom, so there will be a brief jolting while the relationships and forces work themselves out to achieve a new, integrated balance.

I expect no real difficulties. If any should develop, not really develop, for we will pull back before then, but if any give evidence of causing any unwarranted or really uncomfortable turns, then we will do either or both of two things for an interval.

We will either cut our friend down as to allotted time per day for a while, or we will not have him experiment alone in the apartment. Any difficulties would be caused by a temporary impasse of ego and inner self, which should clear itself up. I do not foresee difficulty.

It is a matter of Ruburt’s own forces, that must always work in balance. Some rather harmless diversities of purpose, and temporary imbalance, may most probably be expected at various times while the whole self becomes acquainted with a new level of achievement.

This is to be expected as minor adjustments are made. Without them there would be dangers. Too much smooth sailing could then lead to overconfidence, before the whole self had mastered the controls and disciplines really necessary.

We find here a difference between this experience and the one in which Ruburt journeyed psychically, but actually, through space and time to a Saratoga of quite some years ago. That journey was powered by emotional impetus, personal emotional impetus.

(Jane had this experience on April 30, 1964, at 11:30 AM. See Volume 2, page 65. This was a few days before the 50th session. Checking over my account of Jane’s experience on that date, I notice that I did state that this experience began with a feeling of “a blow on the head.” It is included in Jane’s dated version. On April 28, 1964, Jane also underwent this rather unpleasant sensation; perhaps in preparation for the Saratoga Springs journey two days later. And the sensation of rushing out through the head that she experienced this morning was, Jane said, very similar to those earlier “bumpings.”)

The personal emotions and memories loosened, freed him; but the journey was necessarily destined by the particular emotions that powered it, and the destination was one, incidentally, familiar to the ego, and to some extent at least one to which both ego and subconscious were nostalgically connected.

It was therefore along the lines of a preliminary test flight, and one to which the ego would not therefore object. This incident today was vastly more complicated, though it did not completely come off.

The ego is now somewhat in the confidence of the whole self, therefore we have more to contend with. We are no longer tricking the ego, which it would ultimately and sometimes almost disastrously resent, but taking it into the confidence of the whole self, so that it will allow departure from the physical image, as a mother can finally be convinced that it is safe for a son or daughter to go out alone.

This analogy is not a very good one however, since the child does eventually leave the parent, but it is a true one because the inner self does indeed leave the physical image with which the ego is so concerned, when it passes beyond the physical field.

During ordinary plateaus between levels, there is little such difficulty. Such relatively harmless difficulties however are more than compensated for by increased confidence and achievements that emerge as the difficulties are met, and controls learned.

Also this ability to handle energy is carried over into other life areas, that is other areas in this life. It is no coincidence that Ruburt’s writing, and even his painting, is also showing advancement to a higher level of its own, as your work also shares in your increased abilities to use and handle inner energy.

You have each your own characteristic ways of advancement. You will discover, Joseph, that your ability to receive so-called telepathic data is showing itself in psychological time experiments and dreams, as well as in spontaneous flashes during regular consciousness.

(See my notes on my experience of November 3, involving the car blocking our garage. This may fall within the telepathic category. I have not asked Seth about it simply because of the time problem. Jane and I cannot cover all the subjects we would like to. Many times when we would like something at least mentioned by Seth, we mention it before a session in the hope it will be dealt with. This particular instance is on page 116.

(Also notice that on page 116, I mentioned that I have received many human images during psychological time experiments, and that often the people I perceive appear to be talking to me, but soundlessly.)

You are allowing more of this through than previously. The images will come more clearly within the near future. More data could be received by you, and will be as you allow further data to emerge from the images; that is, feelings that emanate, say, from the images of the people. You are somewhat closed down to these, which add extra and necessary dimension that would round out and focus the information.

If your hands are tired you may take your break.

(“Okay.”(I meant that I felt okay, although my hand was tired. But since it was 10:15, I thought the session would end soon.)

This is your present line of development, and you have utilized it in the past through your portraits, faces of those that have appeared to you in telepathic images of which you were unaware. Closer attention should be paid to your dreams, the suggestion given by you that you will recall them.

I am going to end the session, even though our friend is doing extremely well, since he has dealt with quite enough this week already. I shall make it a point to look out for him in a protective manner during his experiments for a while, and we shall keep a check upon his excellent progress, which should continue. And also assure ourselves that proper controls are being maintained.

My most sincere wishes to you both. One note further: The sale has developed at this time, and future sales have been set into motion through stories. That is all.

(“Good night, Seth.”(End at 10:21. Jane was dissociated as usual. She had maintained her unusual sing-song voice until the end. It had been a strong voice also, and she now said that her voice had felt different to her; as though she was not using her own vocal chords, but served as a vehicle or channel through which this strange voice emerged. Jane did not particularly care for the idea of serving as a channel. To me there was no doubt that the voice was recognizably hers.

(Seth’s statements about my receiving telepathic images interested me greatly, since I have been aware for some years now that I would much rather do a portrait without a model. That is, I greatly enjoy setting to work to “make up” a character, then paint it. I have found that for me working from a model is rather boring and somehow limiting. My best drawings, particularly in ink and oil, have been produced in this fashion, and I used to think it rather strange that I liked to work this way. In fact, Jane has often mentioned the fact that I have seldom used even her as a model. I have done so a few times. The situation is about to be remedied however, since as my work continues to expand I now discover that I want to use models also, and have several paintings planned in which she will appear.

(Concerning Jane making sale of her writing soon, the last statement of the session above now makes four times that this bit of information has come to us, either through sessions or Jane’s psychological time. See pages 102, 107, 114, and 125. In writing out the last line of the session from Jane’s dictation, I took it for granted the information referred to one sale. Jane then told me, as soon as the session ended, that it referred to two sales; one now accomplished, and other future sales. While we were discussing this point, Jane suddenly resumed her feet and began dictating again. Her manner and voice were more subdued now, and grew progressively quieter and slower as she talked. I will indicate pauses where they took place. Resume at 10:26.)

A sale has already developed (Pause) period.

Future sales having to do with stories will result in the near future. These have not yet actually developed, but the framework that will ensure them has already been laid.

Communications, not physical, have been established through elements of energy both within the stories and between certain individuals and Ruburt, although Ruburt is not physically acquainted with these persons.

(Jane’s voice now became even quieter as she paced about.)

A collegiate-type man, graying hair, large feet, and mustache of—of reddish faded color, two children, that is, he has two children; and another tall, thin, gawky-type man whose eyes are some what protuberant. A woman might have something to do with one sale, through influence. An office with a modern red leather chair, small room, stories high, not at all elegant. Office used at various times by three men.

A manuscript now from Ruburt lays on a desk. Some excitement over it. Ten o’clock, PM. New York City. (Pause ) One man, enveloped in a large overcoat, enters. He has three children. I cannot get more through. Pushing Ruburt will cause distortions, this time, that would result from tiredness rather than unwillingness.

I give you what I can. This sort of thing Ruburt is not yet acclimated to, and distractions from other places nearby may cause him to confuse images. That is all.

(End at 10:40. Jane was again dissociated. She ended upon this very quiet note, speaking quite slowly. As soon as she sat down, Jane told me several things. One was that as she spoke for Seth about the red leather chair, she had a mental image of this chair. It had short round wooden legs with a light brown finish, a cushioned seat and back the back leaning back, of course) and was without arms. Jane could not describe the floor upon which it rested, or any other furnishings in the room, or a door, a window, etc.

(She did say that as she mentioned “stories high” she had a definite impression of looking out over many other lower buildings. While talking about the chair she also had an impression that “some source, something” was trying to tell her about a rug that either usually was on the floor, was sent out for cleaning, or else was never there. The only thing she is sure of in this instance is that she was trying to receive something about a rug. She had no vision of it.

(Jane has quite a bit of material out to various publishers. From past experience we have learned to be careful in trying to interpret this kind of material, and so will not try very hard with this information, preferring to see what develops and then include it in the record.

(It might be noted here that Seth/Jane also gave a brief physical description of a person on page 84, in the 99th session. This was in connection with material on John Bradley’s superiors in, presumably, Chicago. We have no verification on this yet, not having seen John recently. Since John goes to Chicago rather infrequently we may have to wait a while for it.

(I was tempted to ask Seth whether he referred to distractions around Jane and me here in Elmira, or possible ones in say New York City. But it was obvious that Jane was tired and ready to end the session.)

————————————————————— em>(The following material is from Jane’s psychological time notebook:

(November 5, Thursday, 11:30 AM: Very few fleeting images.

(November 6, Friday, 11:30 AM: A very definite prolonged feeling of body dissolving below chest. First, feeling of imbalance, as if head was tilting to one side, the left, causing my eyes to feel as though they shifted to lower left. Then sense of whole body vibrating gently to and fro. Then both hands terribly cold. Then they moved of own accord sideways, followed by sensation that they rose, but do not think they actually did. Persistent feeling that they were going to, sort of gentle pressure beneath them. Feeling from feet up of body dissolved, but the coldness at the same time. It reached my upper left arm, which ached with cold. I was actually partially dressed, and beneath spread which was doubled.) I had the feeling my body might rise without it, since it felt dissolved below the chest. The alarm rang. My limbs very cold to the touch. As I write this at once my hands and feet are still abnormally cold. Was shaking with cold when alarm rang.

(Now in the very beginning, I felt a sudden need for Rob. \ Quite emotional, as if he was dead and I wanted him. Spoke his name in ejaculation in my mind. Quick intense sorrow. Had just thought consciously how much he meant to me. Feeling vanished. I forgot it until now. Rather unsettling. I asked mentally if Rob was in any trouble, got no answer. As I wrote this down, in the second sentence with the \ I found myself substituting Rob’s name, no, Walt’s name for Rob’s. Maybe something happened to Walt? Notice the correction in last sentence—there wasn’t any sense of danger; sorrow after an event? Nor did it seem particularly an immediate event, or even necessarily one in near future.)

(November 9, Monday, 11:30 AM: Lightness etc., good state. Had upsetting dream last night. Asked about it mentally during session. Can’t remember whether the following vision happened before or after request, but think after. Saw two nurses, or a doctor and nurse, in white. Heard conversation. Forget some, but got the words, “Well, she’s coming out of shock.” They were looking down at bed or table, which also seemed to be my own observation point of them. Very quick duration. No feeling of danger on my part during experience. Since last night’s dream involved, I think, a warning of a woman’s death, then the affair seems to tie in. But am cautious in attempting to interpret such data.

(Also November 9, Monday, 7 PM: In doze, asked silently if I was being warned about a death. If so whose? If not, what was the message? Few seconds later I saw a brown hand mirror held out. I saw it edge on. I got scared, wouldn’t look, I guess afraid I’d see my own face. As it vanished it occurred to me that the face wouldn’t have to be mine. Upset. Checked with the pendulum. It said warning was of my mother’s death, in December. And that the psychological time experiences, today and Friday, were connected with the warning from Helen McIlwain. Linda was not involved. Don’t know how trustworthy the pendulum is.)

————————————————————— em>(The following account is from Jane’s dream notebook. It is included here so as to present all the pertinent material together. The material is dealt with extensively in the following, 105th, session.

(Jane’s dream, Sunday night, November 8, 1964:

(A boy handed me a long, legal-sized black envelope. Helen McIlwain’s name was the return address, written in black ink on the envelope. She was a friend of my mother’s, now dead.) I took the envelope to contain notification of my mother’s death. I guess I opened it and read inside, though now I don’t recall doing so. Then with relief saw that the death was not to be that close. Not my mother, but a young girl. Got the name Linda, and the last name, which I think I’ve forgotten—don’t think it was Butts. But there was a connection with Linda.

(I was relieved that it wasn’t my mother, but my reasoning was cold-blooded. First I thought: “Well, I’ve always feared my mother’s death,” and I was almost relieved that it was over. Then relief when it wasn’t her death, but someone else’s.

(If it is a death, and in Rob’s family, say of Linda, which I doubt, then why the return name of my mother’s friend? With whom I was not close?) Maybe one of my nieces, instead of Rob’s? Joan? In dream I think the death must have already happened. My death? No feeling that it was, though I could have substituted names. But the person [to die?] was younger than I am, I think. And who was the boy? He waited while I read the message inside. But can’t remember reading it, just interpreting it. Somewhat unsettling dream.)

————————————————————— em>(From my psychological time notebook:

(November 5, Thursday, 8:15 PM: Mild sensation upon lying down. Few vague people and voices. Used Seth’s suggested phrase from the 104th session, “I will progress safely,” as a safety measure.)