Session 458

(SESSION 458 (DELETED PORTION)]

[JANUARY 20, 1969 9:47PM]

[(Continuation of Session 458, January 20, 1969, after break at 9:47.

This material is not included in the records.]

(Resume at 10:01 PM. Point at Sue Mullin Watkins.)

Now, give us a moment. Some information for you....

Your child, in a past life, this child was an uncle and in an accident you killed him. You were in a carriage, driving it. He went to adjust a bridle. England, 1451. Give us a moment.

James. He was James Talbert. You were his niece. Matilda Montage. You were from a side of the family with French connections and at that time flighty, easily upset, with some ability as a musician in piano, but without the discipline or drive to use the ability, He was taking you to a concert. I do not know now, or see now, what initiated your reaction, but something happened that frightened you. You yelled at the horses and screamed. Your uncle fell. The horses panicked, and he fell beneath a hoof. You never forgave yourself, and now in your first reincarnation as a woman since that time, you decided to be the vehicle through which he could enter physical reality again, and so became his mother in physical terms.

This was the extent of what you felt to be your responsibility.

You had not been a mother to a male before.

Now. While the inner self is aware of this connection, the present self has been fooling itself to some degree, for it did not accept the intuitional knowledge. Regardless of what you thought consciously therefore, you still inwardly blamed yourself for letting the child go, and therefore the difficulty with the womanly organs.

You blamed yourself for financial reasons, though consciously this would be the last thing to come to your mind. You think yourself quite free of financial conditions, and as an adult now in independent terms set yourself free of your parents. But subconsciously you wondered what social environment your child would really (underlined)

encounter„ and whether or not you deprived him of the social and economic benefits that you have convinced yourself, consciously, you do not need.

You also wondered about depriving your mother of a grandchild now, for though you tell yourself she would not understand, still you wonder if interest in the child would not give her additional impetus and interest.

Now these are the things, some of the things, that you do not want to face consciously. Your uncle did not blame you for the accident at the time. While there was a past family connection, you were not the closest of friends, and there was no need or desire on either of your parts for a family connection of any duration in this life.

At one time you and the child were also brothers. He was impatient with you at times for he remembered you as a companion in male pursuits, and bitterly resented your femininity.

For various reasons, and because you did not understand, you held it against yourself that once you accidentally killed him, and then when he was a child you gave him away. You gave birth to him however when you did not have to, in order to give him this reentry. There were other entries available, but he understood your purposes, and accepted you as a mother to show you that he held no grudges. (Humorously:)

There were two accidents, then.

Even the first had its psychological applications, for the uncle at that time was dissatisfied with existence and with his accomplishments, and the carelessness that helped result in his accident was also partially his own. But the fact that the conception was accidental, and the death was accidental, has its own intuitive logic.

There is in other words no need for you to punish the organs of your body that were involved in that birth.

You may take a break.

(10:24. Jane was out of trance easily. She said she could see horses' hooves and cobblestones beneath them as she talked. And possibly stone-type houses, close together, on each side of a street, crowded houses. This was not country settings.]

(As Seth talked the witness felt a series of intuitive jolts that led her to believe the information was good. She likes horses this life.

Jane resumed at 10:37.)

Now, I cannot give you your entire reincarnational history in an evening.

The father of the child however was a sister of yours in that life. Give us a moment. (Pause.) Your mother died when you were very young. The sister was older than yourself, and you felt, favored over you by your father.

You were also fascinated by her clothes in particular. You felt that she had taken your mother's place in the affections of your father and she lorded her position over you. She was not that much older than you, you felt, to be put in charge of you, since there was only a five-year difference.

You used to wonder what there was about her that so captivated your father, since he had an obvious preference for her, and you would watch her secretly trying to find the answer. You disliked her heartily but the fascination kept at you, so that you studied her mannerisms, and even at times tried to copy them.

You used to stand in a mirror and copy her expressions.

(Pause.) She married a man whom you also have known in this existence. Your father simply preferred her because she did remind him of his wife. In a past life you had no use for women, and therefore chose an existence in which you were feminine; not only feminine but endowed with those qualities that you had particularly disliked; because you feared those qualities you therefore lived with them, and to some extent learned to understand them, though you are still left with some impatience when you see them in others.

Your sister was also fond of the uncle, and therefore was instrumental in this life in allowing him new entry; but you joined for that purpose only. The fascination was an expression of a past fascination of a different kind, though you were pleased that this time you were older.

Both of you realize this intuitively. (Long pause.) As ersonalities however you have worked out your relationship. When you come together, one or the other insists upon domination. You have decided not to work out any further relationships together. Often roblems with one personality are worked out by relationships with another, different personality.

You felt that you wanted to give a life for the one you accidentally destroyed, but it need not have been the life of the same personality, had you chosen otherwise. You also still remember that the father of your child was a woman, and your sister, and so in this life you have found the relationship ambiguous.

Now you may end the session or take a break as you prefer.

("We'll end it then.")

(Pause.) If you take this information to heart, you should intuitively realize that by giving birth to the child (pause),) you performed a kindly gesture, and opened a door.

The system should then realize that there is no need for the symptoms, and release you from them.

("Good night, Seth.")

(10:58. Jane left trance easily. The witness said the data contained many intuitive insights, etc., citing especially the material re ambiguous relationships, etc.)