January 1, 1979

[DELETED SESSION]

[JANUARY 1, 1979 9:10 PM MONDAY]

(Note the date for this evening's session. It's the first one since December 6, 1978. Now with the New Year we want to start up a schedule for the sessions, and stick to it for the most part. The holidays are over. The Christmas tree and all the decorations have been dismantled; the house is cleaned to some extent, and the copyedited version of Volume 2 of) "Unknown" Reality [has been returned to Prentice-Hall. Jane and I spent two hard weeks erasing most of the suggested changes in the manuscript, and it is now headed for the rinter for page proofs. I mailed it December 26, and just today received the return receipt.]

(For the record:) "Uknown," [it seems, appears to be one of those jobs that won't go too smoothly, even though now we're reaching the end of its cycle. Even today, the day after this deleted session was held, I received a call from Tam at Prentice-Hall, wanting to know about cutting the length of the book. Both Jane and I refused. However, the call evidently helped trigger a "panic" attack, as I call them, on my art, involving palpitations in the chest. The pendulum agreed.

Naturally this is brought about by my own reactions to whatever the trigger happens to be, but still] "Unknown," [and other creative endeavors have often been involved, when conflicts between what I think of as useful creative work run into doing things like shoveling snow, or other household items that I seem to think of as "chores." None of this is new, although I have improved greatly in my reactions during the last year. The long working time] --- [perhaps three years---spent on "Unknown" evidently allowed that project to accumulate strong psychic charges on my part; when doubts or challenges arise in conflict with the work on the book, I would react in uncomfortable ways occasionally.]

[(Jane is still faithfully doing her exercises twice a day, and walking more than ever; I am starting a chart. She is making her own list of things to do for 1979, including the point of power. I am still concerned deeply about her condition, and for the most part we seem to move along from day to do as we always do. In the holiday interim the sessions seemed to fade far away into the background. When we reach that state, I personally find myself thinking that the sessions make little difference one way or the other. Then when we resume, it seems that a key unlocks doors. I'm afraid that Seth has spent years encouraging us to do things that for whatever reasons we either don't do or can't do, simple as they appear to be.)

Good evening.

(Good evening, Seth.)

Now: I wish you a merry new year into which I hope you manage to insert a touch of lightheartedness now and then.

Now if I were you two, making a list of resolutions, my list would include feelings and attitudes. Things to do are well and good---very good indeed---but the feelings and attitudes are, shall we say, at least as important. I would not presume to make a list of resolutions for you, but in an imaginative endeavor this is what I pretend I would list if I were you---meaning you both. Though this is a new year, there is nothing really new about the list.

(Throughout this delivery Seth's voice and manner had contained more than a little gentle irony.)

One: I will approve of myself, my characteristics, my abilities, my likes and my dislikes, my inclinations and disinclinations, realizing that these form my unique individuality. They are given me for a reason.

Two: I will approve of and rejoice in my accomplishments, and I will be as vigorous in listing these---as rigorous in remembering them---as I have ever been in remembering and enumerating my failures or lacks of accomplishment.

Three: I will remember the creative framework of existence, in which I have my being. Therefore the possibilities, potentials, seeming miracles, and joyful spontaneity of Framework 2 will be in my mind, so that the doors to creative living are open.

Four: I will realize that the future is a probability. In terms of ordinary experience, nothing exists there yet. It is virgin territory, lanted by my feelings and thoughts in the present. Therefore I will lant accomplishments and successes, and I will do this by remembering that nothing can exist in the future [that I do not want to be there] .

A certain Mr. Butts, I believe, spoke earlier today about his parents, and mentioned the accomplishments that were present but not appreciated.

The list I just gave you is important because if you do not value your abilities or approve of yourself, then you cut yourself off from using your own abilities. You deny yourself their help and aid because you do not recognize your own abilities as such in the true sense of the word.

You question your own characteristics, and so your accomplishments fade in your eyes. I do not want to be severe, and yet you do indeed show ingratitude when you "wish you were like other people." People of ordinary ways wish deeply "that they were different," that they ossessed qualities that you both possess.

(9:27.) When you feel that way, you deepen a sense of isolation, while at the same time robbing yourselves of the true leasures of accomplishment and creativity that a light isolation rovides. The points I have mentioned are the ones that can literally work miracles in your lives, and they can begin tomorrow. Ruburt should definitely resume the point of power. It will vastly increase the effects of his exercises and walking. For it will add the miraculous touch of Framework 2 to those activities. That last sentence is highly important.

Begin the library---the two of you or Ruburt alone if you prefer. Read over the Framework 2 sessions, for both of you have largely forgotten to focus in that direction, and to look for hints of its activity. The looking-for creates the activity also, you see, for it serves as a sychological focus.

Do not be so severe in your dealings with yourselves, but be more indulgent. The both of you do know the meaning of the word.

I will begin book sessions again Wednesday, and we will resume our two sessions a week. Those sessions will help in other ways also, for they also provide a certain psychic boost at certain times.

Do you have questions?

(No, I guess not.)

Then Wednesday we will begin our usual sessions, and I do bid you a roductive and enjoyable new year--- (Thank you. Seth.)

---and a fond good evening.

(9:34 PM. Seth's reference to my parents stemmed from an insight I expressed earlier today---that is obvious once thought of: that often as a youth I deplored my parents' constant arguing and disagreements, thus judging them, but never gave a thought to how they) [ felt ] [on a daily basis while living such lives.

Obviously---again ---they must have been most unhappy much of the time.

Such a simple understanding did not come to me that I remember, nor to my brothers---both of whom I think still have primitive ideas concerning father especially.]

(At the same time, I now realize that my father did accomplish much that he and the other members of the family were blind to. All of us certainly were more than happy with some of his contributions---simply those revolving around camping, for example---while misunderstanding or missing out upon many other facets of his life, and our own individual lives as they functioned within the family framework. I suppose everyone feels later that there were innumerable things they could have done to help others....)