March 6, 1972

[DELETED SESSION]

[MARCH 6, 1972 MONDAY 9:15 PM]

(Jane went for a walk by herself after supper tonight, and got mad at herself because she was so slow. When she returned home she used the endulum to learn that she had been repressing reactions to a statement of mine of the other day, to the effect that I didn't think she'd be able to get around well enough to go on tour for) Seth Speaks [, if Prentice-Hall asked us to. Hence her slowness tonight, etc.]

(I remembered making the remarks, but hadn't realized her reactions to them, although I had noticed her increased impairment walking. Jane said the pendulum session helped. She took a nap after it. We had a talk before the session tonight. I reminded her of what Seth had said in the deleted session for February 26, 1972 , in Marathon: "You get what you concentrate upon. There is no other main rule." I think this excellent, and plan to make signs for each of us to display in prominent places in our respective working areas.)

[(As we talked about Seth's statement, and decided we should concentrate upon beneficial things, Jane then wanted to know how this idea fits in with the importance of not repressing negative thoughts. As I started to answer Seth broke in:)

Now---let me answer that one, and give a living example, a recent one.

When you made the remark about tour, Ruburt repressed the fear invoked, wanting to show you that he no longer was so sensitive. Do you follow me?

("Yes." I was also somewhat dismayed.)

He feels that he unjustly puts you on the spot, now. Quite rightly, he does not want you to have to double-think before you speak. He repressed the emotions (underlined) in an effort to show improvement.

These repressed feelings grew just beyond the reach of consciousness, and just below the reach of consciousness, but almost consciously he began to wonder, to judge his condition now with what it must be. (To go on tour.) The feeling-tone colored his other activities.

Had the emotion been honestly faced and brought to the surface it would not have been hidden. The body would not have to express it for him, and it would have cleared the way for other compensating feelings as you encouraged him and pointed out the proper direction for concentration.

Crying is a cleansing and usually quite beneficial activity, releasing sychic as well as physical pressures. He has little use for it, or for eople who cry, because of his mother's crying spells. Crying clears the air and guarantees that the emotion will not be repressed. It is a healthy sign. He shies away from this, fearing that it is negative, or that it will upset you and make him feel worse. Fearing you see the noise, the undisciplined---to him---release.

Explain to him your feelings. It is quite natural for him at times to become discouraged. It is for anyone . When he feels that way it would be of great help if he simply cried alone, or went to you for comfort. He thinks of it as an admission of weakness. There is a connection here sexually with the giving-into emotion, period, in a bodily fashion.

I have several suggestions; the remarks you made before the session are most pertinent, and must be kept in mind. Also, the suggestions as you are doing them (at night before bed) should be also given in the morning, at least before work. To these should be added "I will react only to positive suggestions."

Before the day begins with work Ruburt should take a few moments, as he has done in periods of improvement, to dedicate himself to a creative and expressive day. The emphasis on expression .

There was a recording he made with [In a Gadda Da Vida] in which suggestions were given. This was of help, and I suggest he use it.

When he feels he is in a bind, he should admit it and tell you. Such eriods will then diminish. The effort to hide them is of no help.

Laughter is an excellent aide, and gentle humor. The gods are not as serious as Ruburt tries to be about himself. Again, your comments were most important, and contain the most helpful advice possible. Playfully now, for the relaxation and joy of doing it, let yourselves imagine the things you want to do, as a creative game, because of the intrinsic leasure involved but without Ruburt expecting, or rather demanding, instantaneous results.

The results will come, but not if he checks constantly for them. This implies the fear that they will not appear, not the faith that they will. The sharing of any emotion with you will quicken the sexual activities, and it is in the area of discouragement in particular that Ruburt represses.

It involves the fear of criticism, that he will be criticized for being discouraged. Discouragement is natural, and is no problem once it is acknowledged and expressed. In fact it is a stage clearing the way for new action, and to a certain extent the handmaiden of encouragement and joy.

I expect that you will see to it that Ruburt follows the suggestions given this evening. I suggest that the session be placed in front of his old journal notebook, and that the list of material written by you also be read by him every day before work. Now you may take your break.

(9:20---9:40.)

What is involved here is the necessity to recognize and express emotion, eriod.

In helping Ruburt do so you will also find your own emotional nature released and enriched. Ruburt feels emotions deeply, hence the repression of them causes such difficulties. It is the conscientious self, incidentally, who attaches the idea of good and bad to emotions. I suggest that in a joint pendulum session you address Ruburt's conscientious self with this in mind.

Ruburt in past years tried to be like you, to emulate what he thought you were like, this fitting in with the overidealization. He would do anything then to avoid an emotional scene.

Emotions belonged to parents, who were unreasonable.

He felt emotional displays on his part would make you cast him in the same light as your mother. Her tears put you on the defensive, he felt.

He even felt you considered tears contemptible.

It was his emotional nature however and spontaneity that opened your eyes to the necessity for emotional expression. Because he idealized you so, he projected the same kind of feelings from you to him, thinking then that you wanted an ideal mate, not a quite human one. Letting him know that you are not afraid of emotional expression on his part is most important.

He has made gains however in understanding the extent of his repressions. Earlier he did not at all. The last session I gave, in Florida, is very important, taken with this one. The suggestions given tonight are given for his present period, geared to the present state of affairs, and will bring results, and excellent ones.

The concentration upon other areas is most important. I have some excellent material along other lines that I hope to be giving you shortly. Your financial situation is quite taken care of. It is taking care of itself, and your joint energies have already made their imprint.

This is an accomplishment being made now, even though the physical effects have not caught up with you.

(To me:) There are several intuitive developments regarding your work that are already in the making, and will bring you great leasure and a sense of accomplishment. (Long pause.)

Ruburt's condition will improve because of other developments, success in his work and other areas that will automatically bring about a concentration away from symptoms. This has already begun, though again the physical results have not yet occurred.

The necessity for understanding what is behind the difficulty is still necessary, however, and the steps I outlined must be followed.

Now because I am so far ahead of you in regard to typing, I will close the session. You are embarked however upon a road leading to some fascinating events, and accomplishments that would not have been ossible earlier. And have a more playful attitude, both of you. It is the best medicine. There is nothing for either of you to feel hopeless about. I bid you a fond good evening (Thank you, Seth. Good night.)

And whenever you want to give the notes the boot and use the recorder, I am ready.... I expect a new state of affairs, with these suggestions started immediately.

("Okay. Thank you. Good night.")

(10:10. Jane said she felt better already. Then Seth returned.)

One more remark. Your idea of getting up at five is (underlined) an excellent one. It will increase your sense of privacy, hence minimizing feelings of resentment toward this place. But it will also make you feel that you are starting out the day with the sunrise and your work---a symbolic statement concerning your values. There.

You will also recall your dreams easier, and again those benefits mentioned in my book, you proofreader, you.

("Not yet, I'm not.")

(Meaning that my turn at proofreading) Seth Speaks [hasn't come yet. Jane is still doing her stint at it. Now at the end of the session, she repeated that she felt much better.)