December 3, 1973

[DELETED SESSION]

[DECEMBER 3, 1973 9:35 PM MONDAY]

Good evening.

(Good evening, Seth.)

Now, give us a moment.... Ruburt basically believed that if he did his own thing---writing---money would come to him. For a while, as given much earlier, he was worried about money, believing poverty the mark of the artist. The latter belief fell, however, and in three years the financial picture has changed vastly for the better.

You doubted that your own good work would bring any financial success at all, while you believed that commercial work would; but you do not like commercial work. Somewhat like George (Rhoads) , you believed that your best work would not be appreciated. It would not sell, while "inferior" work, by contrast, would.

You felt you must make money, and so a conflict developed. Ruburt's beliefs on his own, concerning his writing and money, carried the ball despite his worrying tendencies. You believed that his best work would bring money too, and so you had no conflicting beliefs about money in that regard.

Ruburt is satisfied with the financial pace, knowing it is accelerating on its own. This is an example however of the way in which your private and joint beliefs operate in a given area. Ruburt does not think in terms of details. He knows the books will bring added financial success, and that ad campaigns, etc., will come. This does not mean he is not annoyed on occasion, for he is, but overall he is in that regard certain.

(For the record: This last material may have come through because I got angry yesterday when I discovered that Prentice-Hall had run a two-page ad in the) NY Times (Book Section, for Sunday, December 2, without mentioning any of the Seth books. Tam has recently told Jane that the Seth books outsell all P/H's books except the Ozzie Nelson. So the Nelson book was pictured in the ad, along with a lot of others, but nary a Seth book.)

There is more here but it is not pertinent to tonight's discussion. In that area however Ruburt's positive beliefs and your supportive ones acquiesced in the area where you each were free. Now you feel that your own best writing efforts will bring you some appreciation and financial success, while you still doubt your best painting will.

The fact that you did do our notes gave you confidence, while you did not feel threatened by failure as an artist. There is a lot here not ertinent tonight, but interesting in the interweaving of your beliefs.

If you would forget such ideas as selling your paintings and simply do them, you could clear some barriers.

(This I have decided to do.)

Sketching for Ruburt's book, in line with your present beliefs, is "safe." This comes under a different category for you: helping Ruburt, and can be used also to release your sketching abilities. Those abilities have always been allowed greater freedom and spontaneity because they did not threaten you in terms of selling.

Now: in his beliefs Ruburt wrote recently that he had a good complexion, and always had one. He realized that this was often reinforced by you in your comments, and in this very simple instance you see the result of a joint belief freely carried through without conflicts. We will call it a simple declaratory belief. Like a simple sentence unmodified by qualifiers.

You believe you can make money. A simple declarative belief, but it is qualified. You believe you can make money--- if you are a commercial artist, or if you take a job, or [if you do almost anything else but your best work as an artist] . You believe you are a good artist---a simple declarative belief. Between the two beliefs however there is some conflict, since you believe you also need money for your self-respect, but that you cannot get it by being an artist, which you feel is your focus of identity, and highly concerned with self-respect.

I am not solving dilemmas for you this evening, but giving you a [head start] with your beliefs (humorously) . Beliefs can be challenged, examined, changed, with resulting alterations in your experience.

(10:00.) Give us a moment.... Some long time ago your own belief that good work could not be financially relied upon put up enough of a barrier so that Ruburt became frightened about his own work (a fact I have long suspected, and recently discussed with Jane)

, and set up a physical situation that would force him to stay home, literally, work, and prevent him from trying any longer those other avenues that you were still adopting. (Jobs, etc.)

The symptoms also cut down distractions to insure that he did work while at home. He was trying to show you that it could be done. Unfortunately in some respects certainly he went overboard, so that the symptoms served to cut out anything he felt might be threatening to his work and to your situation.

A child might result in your working out full time, in which case you would never, he felt, develop as an artist. Social contacts were kept at a minimum. The isolation he felt you needed would be given you. At the same time his own abilities would be concentrated upon also. It was a do-or-die effort on his part. Once embarked, there was to be no turning back, until finally his own work and your reactions began to hint of difficulties, and his own body reflected them. He tried to keep you from family connections and complications for what he thought was your own good.

All of this was based upon your much earlier beliefs that life was short and that all of your energies must be put into your work. This was literally interpreted, and all other impulses systematically denied until, say, a shopping endeavor like today's must be first thought out as good or bad. Earlier, spending money on anything not strictly necessary was bad, because it might detract from money needed to allow you to work. Money used meant that you might have to look for work again and not be able to develop your abilities.

Much of this has come to light, and the most important reasons no longer operate, though he should remind himself of them now and then. He is left with body conditioning, habitual suggestions that cause the body's condition.

The funeral (of my mother on November 19, 1973) , family considerations, thoughts of buying a house, brought up difficulties.

These were apparent also because at the same time he had begun going out more, giving in some to previously denied impulses, and utting himself in positions that he had not before. He was, in a small eriod of time, encountering his beliefs in reality as he knows it, therefore.

Now: beginning my book as I suggested in the last session, Ruburt has begun to encounter, recognize and timidly begun to challenge body beliefs just in the last few days. This will help break the connection in conditioning, and is a first step, and a necessary one. He is so used to automatically negative suggestions that to say nothing to himself leaves a vacuum. But here he can say now instead: "It is not necessarily so. Perhaps I can move easier. I'll try it," which allows a breathing space and a slight weakening of previous conditioning, in which he is no longer taking negative beliefs as fact, but looking at them as beliefs.

The spending splurge, and changes here, are important. Particularly important was your discussion with him the other evening. You recall the one I mean. (About Jane and me being essentially alone in that world now after my mother's death, etc.) In the inner order of events he is walking nearly normally, but the challenge to beliefs must take place on that outer level, and this is now occurring. It is important because of his literal-mindedness.

There is a correlation between his literal-mindedness and your attention to detail, and if you look at it that way it will make more sense to you. Your work together with my book will be of great private and joint benefit; and continue with your lists on beliefs. Take your break.

(10:27---10:41.)

Now: because of your background you also feel that there is something slightly shameful about going abroad in the day, when a man should be taken up with dutiful work. Your mother was ashamed of your father's being home, for example. You used to comment to Ruburt about all the eople on the streets in working hours. He picked that idea up from you.

Your own list of beliefs should be quite illuminating as you continue it. But the real realizations will come as the exercises and their ersonal comprehension merge with what is written in my book.

The very fact that you work together at the book brings your private and joint beliefs together for examination. Ruburt's improvements will begin anew as he now feels safe within his environment; but also as he feels safe to improve that environment.

The Florida trip would have had some excellent benefits. This present course will also however, but [for now] I suggest that you remain within this context.

In this period just passed Ruburt encountered your family in a crisis situation, opened to influences previously denied in terms of some brief traveling and dining out and spending money, while considering the very large expenditure for the house, and at the same time not working regularly or having my sessions.

This brought forth a turmoil in beliefs, and a creative one that is only now being used and assimilated. His idea of challenging body beliefs is important. Today's mixture of walking, stimulation and facing the public (while shopping) is highly advantageous, but he should compare his condition not with others but with his reality.

Again, your lovemaking together is vital. Ruburt was correct in some assessments he made concerning your own energy. In a certain way your mother's death releases it.

Now I realize that you see Ruburt limping about quite as clearly as you see his good complexion. He is the one who must challenge his body beliefs, but whenever you notice any improvement mention it, for you are also dealing with a situation in which you become hypnotized by effects.

The beliefs cause the effects---most important---and you must each follow me here: for the following week continue with my book as given, but concentrate upon your work, each of you, your daily joys. Above all do not concentrate upon the problem, and in your minds to whatever extent possible, minimize it.

(Louder:) That last sentence is not beyond your abilities.

Unless you believe that the problem is insoluble, out of your control---and if you believe that you had better immediately examine that belief, for it is false. You cannot concentrate upon the problem as a problem. And solve it. Concentrate upon it, if you must, as a challenge. You would do better if you forgot it as best you could.

The money in the bank is real. It is the result of beliefs. Ruburt did not concentrate upon the problem of, say, possible overty. Ruburt's flexibility and health is as real in the inner world as that money is. More than that, it is ready to manifest hysically, but you must not concentrate upon its "seeming lack."

Ruburt gets over here quicker in the morning. Both of you believe it.

Now: take any one, any one simple area, like rising from a chair, and using the point of power see Ruburt performing better in that area, whatever you choose. Do nothing else. Do not tell yourself, "He will do better," but see it being done in the point of ower. Then forget about it.

Do you have questions?

(No.)

You have freedom to concentrate your attention. Choose simply to change that concentration away from Ruburt's symptoms, each of you, whenever you find yourself concentrating upon them. You do not have to deny the effects that you observe. Simply tell yourself to concentrate upon something else.

This applies to each of you, and will be of greater value than you now suppose. The prognosis is still good, then.

I bid you a fond good evening, and I expect my suggestions to be followed. Do you have questions?

(No, this is enough. Thank you, Seth.)

Let Ruburt return to the definite 3-or-4-hour writing period, involving what he understands of Sumari time, interspersed with what you are doing to change the environment in the apartments---a good mixture of the mental and the physical. Now good evening.

("All right, Seth. Thank you. Good night." 11:12 PM.)