April 9, 1979

[DELETED SESSION]

[APRIL 9, 1979 9:18 PM MONDAY]

(Before the session I burdened Jane again with my hassles about my side and groin. I'd felt somewhat better after Seth's information about those ortions of my anatomy in the deleted part of the last session, the 846th, for the previous Wednesday. The feelings hadn't cleared u sufficiently, though, and today they had been especially bothersome. I was really uncomfortable by session time, I told Jane. She listened with a worried air. She didn't say a great deal, except that she'd try to get herself in a quiet mood in order to have the session, and hope Seth could help. I was personally quietly disgusted by the whole affair, and told her I'd cheerfully dispense with whatever was causing the upset, lest it turn into a chronic physical inconvenience. I also said I thought the whole thing was in my head.)

(I've received various answers from the pendulum on the background causes for my upset; not really contradictory, by and large, but signifying to me that in spite of my concern I hadn't been willing to buckle down and really work at uncovering the beliefs causing the unrest. Interesting observation.)

(I'll begin the private material with a paragraph that's not strictly rivate, in order to set the scene---although actually Seth says little enough to me.)

(10:17.) In man, again, generally speaking, reason and emotion become separated so that man can think about his emotions, or emotionally feel his reasoning thoughts. Now. In human health difficulties, usually, the paths taken by reasoning and emotions become, say, too divergent, so that the reasoning mind says one thing and the emotions say something else. Fears as emotions are not reasonably considered, and thoughts are not emotionally tinged.

In your case, I meant to mention (in the last session) that the time of taxes has some involvement with your difficulties, for reason tells you they must be paid, while your emotions are resentful.

You are not sure whether your creative work will "pay off"---that is, whether you will be adding to the financial kitty. Hence your dilemma as to what projects you should do or not do.

As I mentioned, the creative spontaneous self knows of your entire situation, [so that) its unimpeded production will automatically meet all of your needs.

I believe I have answered all of your questions. And I bid you a fond good evening.

("Thank you very much, Seth.")

(10:25. We thought the session was over at this point, but Seth did return a minute later for a little more material related to the body of tonight's session. End then at 10:29 PM.)

(I was a little surprised at Seth's mention of taxes, since my pendulum hadn't brought this fact out. I'd thought I had fairly well put the roblem of taxes in its place after a number of hassles over them in recent years; that is, I thought I'd learned) [ something ] [there....]

(However, I did feel better by session's end. I went for a walk near midnight, slept well, and have had a better day today. The feelings linger, though in a much subdued form. I talked with our tax man, Jack Joyce, on the telephone today; we may get our forms Thursday. I want to ay the taxes by Friday to get free of them, and to see if this act helps set me free. I think that because of the Easter weekend coming up, an extension of the tax-paying deadline until next Tuesday the 17th is ermissible, but I don't want to wait that long.)

(At 8:30 PM, Tuesday, April 10, 1979, pendulum says:)

[1. I] [ am ] [concerned about what to do next.]

[2. I worry that] Through My Eyes, [say, will take too long.]

[3. I'm mad at Prentice for various reasons, while not being blind to their good points.]

[4. I] [ do ] [resent paying the taxes.]\ [[All of these contribute to the physical effects.]]

[5.] [ [My side bothers me because I'm not working on] ] [Mass Reality] [. [Related to 1 & 2, obviously.]]

[6. Note: Insight received at 10:15 PM: The feelings in the groin of "having to go" all the time, are nervous interpretations on my part of the urge "to go" ahead creatively in whatever way is chosen....)]