Session 216

SESSION 216 DECEMBER 9, 1965 8:30 PM THURSDAY UNSCHEDULED (It will be remembered that in recent sessions Seth has promised to discuss two dreams which have been on my mind recently. Both of these involved my younger brother Bill, who lives in Rochester, NY with his wife and 3 children.

(Actually, I have had a series of five dreams since October 27,1965, which I believe to be closely related. All of them involved myself in situations of rather drastic physical stress or outright peril. Since the outcome of the dreams left me whole, however , it seemed their symbolic meaning concerned conflicts other than the physi cal, and I was interested in pinning these down.

( The last in the series took place last night, and since it dealt with extreme situations concerning my own death, Jane and I thought it wise to inquire into it. I had thought of next Monday’s session as being soon enough at first, but by now the dreams were on my mind enough so that we thought of an unscheduled session. Also, other material in the regular sessions seemed to push the dream material aside.

(The five dreams occurred on the evenings of October 27, November 19, December 1, December 3, and December 8. Since Seth deals only with dreams of November 19, December 1, and December 8, only these will be presented here from my dream notebook. Seth calls them dreams number 1, 2, and 3. The two dreams not given here are closely similar to the three presented below.

(Dream \# 1; November 19,1965: This was extremely sharp and vivid in detail, and in full color. My younger brother Bill and I were in a very deep mountain valley, with steep rocky brown walls. We were trapped in this valley and knew we might not get out. It was not too large. We were actually in a rickety old house on the valley’s slope, perhaps halfway up. There was a sharp drop-off below us. Part of the time I was looking out of a window, and part of the time I stood on the roof or a porch with Bill, our backs pressed up against the side of the house. The shingled roof slanted down and was covered with a fine snow. We were afraid to move because it was very slippery.

(Then I was looking at Bill, off to my left. He was too close to the edge of the porch roof. I hollered at him to be careful. Even as I did he slipped, landed on his backside, then tumbled over the edge as he scrambled for his balance. I heard him hit the ground with such force that I was very afraid he had broken a limb. I then looked over the edge of the roof, and to my great agitation I saw that Dick had not only fallen off the roof and hit the ground hard, but that now he had slipped over the edge of a steep cliff beside the porch, and was saving himself only by grasping a skinny little shrub that was in the process of loosening in the frozen ground. At the same time, Bill looked up at me and I thought he was smiling; or at least he didn’t appear to be worried.

(I then realized that I could go over the edge of the roof at the corner, where there was a drainpipe to use as a handhold, then reach down and save him by lifting him back up with one hand. I also realized that I could move more easily on this slippery roof than I had thought possible.

(Dream \# 2; December 1,1965: In color, and sharp and vivid and very detailed. My younger brother Bill and I were in swimming. The water was a beautiful light blue-green, almost like bathwater, and was extremely pleasant and comfortable. We were in a stream above a high and rapid waterfall, with the surface of the water about us broken by rocks. I got the idea of going over the waterfall while holding my breath, yet hesitated.

(Then Bill went ahead, his body curled up into a ball, much like a fetal position. I saw him coast over the edge of the fall. I followed, holding my breath, and felt no shock or fear especially. It was very pleasant. I went deep down into the water at the base of the falls. I let myself float along, knowing that if I held my breath I would rise to the surface. At the same time I somehow knew there was a large underground rock ahead in the stream. It was like a pillar or barrier, dark and rough, reaching up high toward the surface. Still under water, I opened my eyes in plenty of time to see it ahead, and avoided hurting myself against its rough surface.

(I later thought of the pillarlike rock as a phallic symbol; and of the warm water and the fetuslike position of my brother as reincarnational information.

(Dream \# 3; December 8,1965: Again in color. A long involved dream; believe part of the beginning of it escaped me as I woke up. The dream had to do with the fact that for some reason I was to be executed, by painless injection. I do not know why. At least part of the time I was in a brick-walled room partially underground. I think my father was to give me the needle.

(To the best of my recall I was not very afraid at any time, yet was sad and concerned. There was an examination table in this room, and I was to lay there while I received the injection. Part of the time I looked out of a window made up of many small panes of glass, and saw Jane on a swing outside the window. She was fully grown, dressed as though in the summertime; someone else was on the swing with her, but I do not know who. She didn’t appear to be worried about my predicament.

(I believe that my own feeling was one of sadness that I wouldn’t be with her, more than anything else in the dream. Part of the time I was also outside of this brick room. I also believe that I had received the injection, and that it was supposed to take effect hours ago, but hadn’t done so. So here I was hours later, wandering around. I thought of Jane but did not see her, and still felt this sadness and concern much more than any fear. I believe the dream ended on this note. At no time in the dream did I actually see my father; I merely knew he was there, and involved.

(The two dreams not given but very similar to the three here quoted involved myself and cancer and my survival, and my being separated from Jane again, and strongly aware of sadness and concern.

(Jane and I think the following material an excellent example of the way Seth interprets dreams, and it is presented in full. Seth doesn’t get all the way through his analysis, but promises to in an early session. However, he told us enough tonight to make me feel much better.

(When Jane expressed a willingness to hold the session, she sipped a glass of wine while we waited for Seth to appear. I sat beside her on our living room couch, notebook in my lap. We listened to music. Nevertheless the start of the session caught me by surprise. Jane took off her glasses, closed her eyes and began to speak in a quiet voice.)

Now, there is no need for a musical accompaniment to this session.

(“Just a minute then.” (I turned off the television set. Jane’s eyes were closed, but were to shortly open briefly; they remained closed for most of the session. Her pace was fairly fast, although she waited until I sat down again before resuming.)

The dreams are realities on several levels.

Primarily they refer to your own subconscious feelings toward your father. Not only in regard to yourself, but in regard to your younger brother, and to Ruburt. Now this is on one level, and for a few moments we shall speak about the dreams on this level only.

(Her eyes now closed again, Jane wagged a forefinger at me.)

You lose advantage, Joseph, from your recorder. You lose the advantage of your recorder. In sessions such as these it would be most handy for you.

Ruburt could transcribe the notes, and I could speak to you more clearly.

On this level therefore, the three most important of these dreams are related: the two regarding your brother, and the dream that had to do with execution by needle, a painless one, to be carried out by your father.

In the first dream you see your younger brother slipping on an icy roof and falling. You go to his aid; discovering that you can manipulate better than you thought, you jump off the roof only to discover that your brother had also fallen over the edge of the cliff and was hanging on until you could get to him.

The second dream finds you both in water, headed toward a falls. You think of holding your breath and going under, but your younger brother does this before you, and you follow. You are not hurt and you avoid a barrier that is in the water.

In the third dream you face a painless execution which is to be carried out by your father, who will give you the needle. You see Ruburt, who is on a swing, and you are concerned and sad. Later you find yourself unhurt. You wander about, see Ruburt once more, and again you are concerned for him.

(Note that the last line above says I saw Jane again in the dream. My own notes say I did not see her again; that is, I did not remember doing so when I awoke and wrote out my account of the dream. I may very well have actually seen Jane twice in the dream.

(Seth also notes a few other discrepancies, later in the session, between the actual dream events and my written account.)

I realize that I have left some details out, but the details that have been left out belong in other layers of the dreams.

Now. All of these dreams have to do with your subconscious feeling that you and your younger brother could go under, mainly in a financial, but also in an emotional way, because of your father.

The furnace which you are all purchasing for your family is important here. The snow and ice in the first dream represent the fact that your parents were not warm. Dick went in debt to get the furnace. He fell into debt, as he fell off the roof; and on his part the purchase was an emotional and impulsive one.

Although you did not really agree, you leaped in to help him; as you jumped off the roof to go to his aid, you found that he had fallen farther than you thought over the edge of the cliff, and was hanging on. This represented further debt that he has taken on. He had fallen further in debt.

Now you are afraid in the next dream that you both are in over your heads, so you see yourself and your brother in the water. He is still ahead of you, for he is now up to his neck in debt. You are not but you fear that your family situation, your parent situation, could put you in a like condition.

You then project this, thinking that it would happen to your brother first. So he goes under first, and you follow. You come to the surface because you realize that you would never in actuality let that kind of a situation keep you under for long. You do not see your brother because you are not so sure that such a condition could not keep him under indefinitely.

(My account of the dream doesn’t mention my actually coming to the surface of the water, but does deal with my holding my breath so that I will automatically rise to the surface; I had no doubt in the dream that I would do so. Nor did I see Dick again after we went over the falls. Seth is correct here.)

I suggest a brief break; and while we are at it, we shall tie these in with the third and most significant dream. I presume your hand is tired.

(“A little.” (Break at 8:55. Jane said she had been dissociated more than usual, especially for a first delivery. She thought Seth might have seen to this in order to keep her from blocking. Her eyes had opened once briefly near the beginning of the session. Her rate of speaking had kept me writing rapidly.

(At break I remarked to Jane that she need not hold a session of regular length this evening. Now that we had a little information, I thought we could wait for more if she didn’t care to continue. She resumed in the same fast manner, her eyes closed, at 9:00.)

While we are at it, you had better get what you can.

The first dream stated the situation as you saw it at present. Dick you saw as having fallen into debt; and you, by increasing your financial allotment to your parents to help pay for the furnace, had jumped in after him to his aid.

The second dream projected the fears of the first, anticipating what you were afraid would happen in the future.

You would both go under. You thought you could come out all right, but you were not certain of your brother.

Now the last dream looks for the causes behind the situation, and the main key to it is the needle symbol, which on the one hand is a symbol for the penis. But it is not a phallic symbol, which has wider and deeper symbolic and racial implications than this one.

To some extent also the water symbol of the previous dream represented your mother’s womb, and was a connection to the penis symbol of the next dream. Now. The execution, which you feared, was a symbol for the death of many hopes, both financial hopes and artistic ones. For you would have to get further work, you feared, to help your parents. And to you this would represent a type of execution.

It was to be painless simply because your father did not mean in the dream to hurt you on purpose. But he would do it nevertheless, so you felt. The puzzlement is obvious. You did not see how he could do this to you.

In the earlier dreams you were certain of your capacity to survive the situation which you feared. In this dream you faced the possibility that you would not survive so easily. Ruburt is in this episode because now you worry about the effect of your own reaction upon his condition in general.

Also, you are not at all certain in the dream that you would not prefer him to find outside employment, rather than increase your own work load, if a situation arose in which money was needed for your parents. Because your parents rather than his were involved you felt sadness and concern, because such a move on your part, you felt, would be unfair.

In the end however you have survived. You are still concerned for Ruburt because you realize that as a matter of survival added funds for your family would have to come from his efforts, since your own painting time is too important to lose. Your father personally did not appear because literally you could not see him doing this to you. So you did not see him give you the needle.

For a very good reason you have forgotten a portion of the dream. At the last moment you simply walked out of the room, and refused to have this done to you. You did not remember this detail simply because it seems to you that you should make every sacrifice for your father. The concern and sadness you felt then, for Ruburt, was false, and added on to hide the fact that you had refused to be sacrificed.

Do you understand this last portion?

(“Yes.” (Jane’s eyes had opened once again, rather briefly. They open again within a couple of paragraphs, when she lights a cigarette and sips at a glass of wine. Seth is right; I did forget the above portion of the dream, and my notes bear no reference to it.)

You are subconsciously very concerned with your parents’ situation, and also you anticipate financial difficulties because of them. You are also worried about your brother, and all of these have piled up.

The other dream levels had to do with reincarnational material. Your brother is taking too much on as a result of his own impulsive nature, and you recognize that he could indeed go under long before yourself, so to speak, although he is younger.

The dreams very clearly show your fear and concern. There is also some element of distorted clairvoyance, in that your father’s death—when it does occur, and it is not imminent—will finally be a painless one.

(Added later: Seth was correct. My father’s death was peaceful and painless—six years later, on February 5,1971.)

You are ashamed to admit that to some extent you resent the payments that you both make, and this is the main reason why these fears were not recognized sufficiently by the ego, but forced into the subconscious where they made themselves known in this manner.

You may now end the session, or take a break as you prefer. I believe I have answered your most urgent questions. There are other dream connections that can be made if you want to pursue them further, however.

(“Perhaps you can finish this up next session then.”)

As you wish.

(“I’d like to thank you very much.”)

I stand thanked.

(“Good night, Seth.” (End at 9:20. Jane was dissociated as usual. Her eyes were closed most of the time, her pace quite fast. She said she could have continued, but I thought we had made a good start.)

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(Tracing of the child’s drawing used in the 22nd envelope test, in the 217th session for December 13,1965.)