Session 377

(SESSION 377 (DELETED)]

[NOVEMBER 6, 1967 9 PM MONDAY]

(This session is deleted from the record.)

(Sunday afternoon, November 5, I devoted to a long pendulum session, concerning my attitudes as related to Jane's symptoms; it was most beneficial and rewarding, and we were anxious to have Seth's comments on it this evening.)

(Complete notes made during the pendulum session are on file. This afternoon, incidentally, Jane and I spent in Sayre, visiting my father in the hospital, eating supper with mother, etc.)

(Last Thursday, November 2, Jane received her first royalty payment from Frederick Fell for her ESP book---a substantial sum, over \$250, much more than we expected.)

[(Jane's pace was on the slow side this evening; her voice however was good, her eyes open often.)

Good evening.

(Good evening, Seth.)

Now give us a moment. (Pause, hand to eyes.)

You see, now, more clearly than you have, that your problems are the results of unfortunate personal reactions and interactions, that two are involved here rather than one.

You must realize however that in your interactions you and Ruburt work together in some areas very effectively. You will be inpointing those areas where negative interactions are involved.

Now. You did indeed see your father (as my pendulum told me)

not as a man who failed in several important areas, but as a failure in all areas: as a husband, breadwinner, father. (Pause.) You identified with him however out of fear of your mother's emotionalism.

You did not dare identify with her.

She always had strong sexual desires. She considered these as beneath her, and wrong. She was unable to relate to her husband in this way. You were aware of her sexual energy however. It was a current between you, for she did not recognize her feelings toward you when you were a child, as sexual. Therefore she permitted herself to show more affection toward you than she did toward her husband.

You identified with your father because he seemed free, in that she did not direct actively these strong affections toward him. To be like him then represented safety, for she did not like failures.

She was an activist, so you tried to become the opposite. Now then: on the one hand you attempted to be virile by identifying with your father, yet he was also to you the symbol of a failure. To be a failure therefore was virile (as my pendulum told me).)

Any push toward success became a threat to your virility; a push from a woman became to you a double threat to your virility. You felt as if she threatened to castrate you. Ruburt has been aware of this. This is one of the main reasons that he suffers from strong feelings of disloyalty whenever he allows himself to wish that you were more successful in your work, artistically or financially.

He fears that you will interpret this as a threat of castration. Because of his own background you knew that he would not push you in this respect. He has an innate talent for making money, that has not been developed nor used for these reasons; and all suggestions made by him to you have been regarded by you as threats, and he felt that the suggestions were mistakes on his part. (One minute please.)

I have told you that you can change the past. In doing so you change the self, by choosing from past experience those elements to which you shall and shall not react. This you can do. (Long pause.)

I have several points along these lines to discuss with you this evening. There is one point however, an important side issue, that I want to mention first. It is this: your ideas of the daily amount of time being limited---these ideas are limiting you and your work far more than time is. This attitude automatically suggests that progression in your work takes a certain amount of time, and limits your intuitional insights, confining them to your idea of time.

You can, in other words, intuitively progress within an hour a year's work, if you allow it. I am not saying here that you should not set aside specific hours for yourself. I am saying be cautious, for while certain periods of time seem necessary within your system for the development of your work, that the ideas of limited time on a daily or weekly basis can slow down the intuitional qualities of your work and growth.

You deal then with a single-line type of within-physical-time development, and tend to ignore the value fulfillment kind of development which is entirely independent of a time structure. To be fearful for time is to neglect its full use.

You may take your break and we shall continue. The last on time is connected, incidentally, with what we have been speaking of, for it can lead to an insistence upon outer realities, and result in a lack of inner intuitional development, which alone is the fountainhead of true art.

[( 9:27. Jane's pace was rather slow throughout, with some long pauses.

Resume at 9:47.)]

Now. There are specific steps you can both take, and we will get to these.

The book Ruburt is reading (Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz) offers a good approach. Following those directions I will give you specifics.

Here are some general points, but I will fill these in and add to them at our next session.

(Long pause.) Ruburt has been adding to the strength of the negative influences of his past. The more he reacts to them the more thoroughly he convinces himself of their strength. His background was unfortunate. It was not as unfortunate as he supposes. Many of his most redeeming qualities and characteristics were formed by it.

His vitality was formed in that environment. The passive qualities in him would have been far more predominant, overly so, but for the adversity he faced. His mother's colorful, emphatic and mystical characteristics gave him incentive, and generated mental and psychic activity. (Long pause.)

She was highly imaginative. At times she did not know fantasy from reality. Ruburt was literal-minded in many respects. He took her hysterical and desperate threats literally, when many children would not have done so. The background of Ruburt's personality was unfortunate, and fortunate.

(His personality chose this background, didn't it?)

The overall self chose the background. Now. Ruburt has always been primarily driven by a desire to write successfully. His mother encouraged the writing. At the same time he felt guilty that he was free and the mother was not, and he blamed himself to some degree for her situation. The mother did blame the child in this respect.

The mother wanted success for the child, and yet Ruburt felt (pause) that success would also be resented by the mother, that the mother would be jealous of it. The mother wanted success for the daughter so that the daughter could share the fruits of the success and provide for her. While Ruburt had no money there was no fear of this.

Financial success was put off, you see. It was not to be denied but put off. (Pause.) He did not want to share it with his mother, for to Ruburt this meant having his mother live with him.

Now these feelings served to put success off. They were not strong enough to deny it entirely, and he was working through them, although this took considerable energy.

These hidden feelings however made him susceptible to your own fears. He must indeed, completely, rid himself of his strong resentments at his mother. The above paragraphs should help him. He cannot resent the environment nor his parent, since he chose both. (Long ause.)

Now. You can change the past, and in doing so change the present and the future. You can change the present, and in doing so change the past and the future. You can change the future, and in doing so change the resent and the past.

The exercises in the book Ruburt is reading are excellent. With our added instruction they shall be even better. You will change yourself in the future by vital imagining today. You will put high expectations to work at once in this manner, and project a new image into tomorrow.

This projected image will of itself already alter the past and the resent. You will change the past, your reaction to it, by vividly imagining happy hours that you refused to focus upon. These pursuits in the present will automatically change the nature of the present.

A complete reversal of attitude can take place, and will if you persist. I am giving you a rather general outline here, and I will fill it in.

There is also much yet to be said concerning why you and Ruburt chose your particular parents and early environments. Being an artist and being successful were opposites for your inner self. You could not therefore have both. (Pause.)

I should make this more clear: being a fine artist and a success were opposites.

We will fill all of this in for you. If some of it seems disconnected it is simply because I want to outline the main areas to be developed.

Ruburt saw himself as a writer, and not as a psychic. He knew intuitively that he was a psychic. He was also highly anxious to succeed, and knew that he was not doing so.

The psychic abilities appeared precisely when he needed an extra drive toward success, and a way toward success that would not be instantly recognized as such.

His own past fears of success were finally set aside with the acceptance of the ESP book. Not so much set aside as driven back. He saw instantly that you resented the publication of the book, as he had seen earlier that you resented the publication of [The Rebellers] . You resented that book very much.

(") The Rebellers [?"]

(Jane nodded yes. Pause, eyes closed. She held a hand up.) He was frightened then at your reaction. It was this fright that prevented him from finishing all of those projects he began, or from selling them.

You both became involved in the psychic work. He felt therefore that you would feel his success was yours also. He thought at that time that you were simply jealous of him. Your reaction to the ESP book quite literally terrified him. He then realized that you did not want either of you to be successful.

(Was any of this conscious on his part?)

Some was, but when it became conscious he became panic-stricken. His drive toward success had been quickened by its taste, however. He wanted more. He felt hampered by you. At the same time he felt the need to contribute financially, and he felt that you were tying his hands by forcing him to make money in ways in which he was not particularly equipped to do so, while forbidding him to be a success with books.

The dream book was an attempt to try again, a desperate attempt for independence on his part to succeed in spite of the negative influences.

(Pause.) He felt that you rejected it as a whole, and completely. His impatience and panic did impede his judgment, causing him to send it out too early, and for this he blamed you.

The book became a sore point, and the focus in his work of the inner roblem, a symbol. Finally he had to force himself to work on it, and at times he could not work on it. There was an inner refusal to make concessions. You both maintained your positions, and would not communicate.

His symptoms represented his problem. He felt literally paralyzed, and unable to move. Now he can move, but he still cannot run, you see. He moves much better. He is partially released but far from fully.

At the crisis point you were both alienated. He was completely bewildered. He was doing what he felt you wanted him to do, yet the results displeased you, and he felt you found him physically repulsive.

In desperation you both began to question inner attitudes, and you then broke the ice with a pendulum session. (See the 350th Session.)

The affair can be cleared completely, and free you both and your abilities. Again, in many areas, you work together very well, and this inner closeness which does aid your work and make the psychic work ossible, is the same closeness you see that opened you to these other interactions.

You may take a break or end the session as you prefer.

("We'll take a break.")

(10:42. Jane was farther under this time, she said, kept there rather cleverly by Seth. She wanted to resist the material about her mother, at first, but then went along with it. Resume at 10:50.)

Subjectively, when you were jealous (see the 350th Session)

you were actively jealous of Ruburt for being successful, and wished to strike out in retaliation. When you feel envious now, you envy his success, but you are not jealous of him as a person.

(Here Seth clears up a point in Sunday's pendulum session, in which the endulum told me I was not jealous of Jane, but envious of her success.

I wanted to be sure I wasn't confused on the jealousy-envy terminology; I also wondered if there was actually any difference.)

It is the success you envy.

The father identification can be tackled. Vivid imagining of yourself as a success will automatically weaken it. It will also be weakened with the emotional understanding that you are an individual, identified with no other.

The uniqueness of your art will also weaken it, for your art could not ever be produced by your father. Your art is indeed an excellent defense, used in this manner, for it is an anthem of individuality, and a statement of uniqueness.

Now my dear friend--- (staring at me, Jane tapped with her foot on the coffee table between us) your hats, your caps... Do you see any connection?

(With my father?)

Indeed.

(Well, I guess I do. He wears a hat, and I stick to caps...There must be something here I'm missing, though.)

He has worn caps much like the one you wear, and for many years they hung in the back porchway. This is an unconscious item of identification that you have donned.

(I now remembered father's caps, once Seth mentioned them. But I felt somewhat in a dilemma, since father also wears regular hats.)

Now let me see. (Pause.) Both of you should read the book Ruburt purchased, carefully, and follow most of its instructions.

(Psycho-Cybernetics) . I will give you specific material to use along with the book, and will add my own explanations.

Another note: Ruburt's letters, business letters. He allowed you to take spontaneity and friendliness from them. (Pause.)

All of this can be cleared, and no blame is to be attached to anyone.

This would only compound the problem, and indeed there is no blame.

There was simply ignorance.

You have both avoided many problems that could have arisen, because in those areas you were not ignorant. Ignorance implies a refusal to see, or rather an inability to see at a given time, for various reasons.

Never underestimate what you have, for you have much. I shall enlarge on some of these topics at our next session.

Now all of this affected our sessions. My ability to help is determined by many issues. Ruburt's overall condition has to some extent impeded us, (pause) and because of a distrust of his own abilities he will sometimes doubt my legitimacy. Such doubts then impeding his rogress and limiting what help I have to offer. (Pause.)

His distrust of his abilities was partially a result of the basic conflict, and if he could not trust himself how could he trust me when I spoke through him?

You may again end the session or take a break as you prefer.

(We'll end it now.)

My heartiest wishes to you both, and my best wishes for your success.

("Thank you. Good night Seth.")

(11:07. Jane said she was far out again, and it took her a few moments to come out of trance. Her pace had been faster.)